Wednesday, October 7, 2015

NBA Poem

With preseason getting underway in the NBA, how about a little poem to get ready for the season!



Baseball is coming to a close

Autumn leaves start to fall

The dangers of football are being exposed

You can hear the dribbling of a ball


The Splash Brothers prepare to defend their crown

NBA action from coast to coast

Shaq prepares his role as the clown

He's got you covered on the teams you love most


From South Beach to the Pacific Northwest

There are new faces in new places

Some stood out more than the rest

Deandre's time in Dallas has left no traces


Whether you fear the deer or fear the beard

Things keep changing and it leaves you amazed

What young player will Hinkie trade this year

Will Lebron and Co leave the East ablaze?


The Jazz will try to keep their rise at a crescendo

The Thunder hope for some better weather

Some players are older than a Nintendo

But the Mamba knows doubters don't know better


Rose is hoping to put the pedal to the metal

New coaches are set to establish their tempo

Hot seats hotter than tea on a kettle

Better watch out for Antetokounmpo


PG-13 means more than a rating

Don't make Doc Rivers scowl

Trash talk from KG can be degrading

But the T-Wolves are ready to howl


The Spurs are looking ready to battle

But the West is unbelievably deep

Blake Griffin with the dunks that make the rims rattle

When it comes to the Pelicans you better not sleep


Every team now has a clean slate

It doesn't matter if your short or tall

Its a new year with a wide open plate

You can hear the dribbling of a ball


This poem was remarkably cheesy

I feel like I shouldn't have proceeded

Some of these rhymes turned out to be easy 

Its just a pity this wasn't deleted.



Ranking and Suggested Re-Naming of every NBA Arena

Do I have to make some kind of legal disclaimer before I start this? Can't I plead the freedom to be hypothetical? Regardless, please note that these are just convoluted ideas in my mind and are still respecting arena's actual names. I also understand the many factors that go into naming an arena, namely money, but also how arena's house other sports besides basketball and other events, such as concerts.

Now that's over, let me begin ranking (by name) and re-naming the 29 NBA arena's. I was able to find a very handy source to help me. Three tiers to this: names that are just crazy and should probably be fixed, one's that kind of make sense but could take a change, and one's that work well. Under previous names, I mean previous names of the current building, not old buildings. In descending order of making sense, let's begin:

Third Tier
29. Smoothie King Center. New Orleans Pelicans. 
The Pelicans announced a ten year deal with Smoothie King in 2014. Look, we all love smoothies, but this is a stretch. It turns out that Smoothie King started in Kenner, Lousiana. So at least they didn't get some company with no connections to the area. 
Former name: New Orleans Arena. Suggested name: The Nest Arena. Many of these names  I come up with are in a world before corporate sponsorship. If you want to go all in on the Pelicans name, make it the nest. Apparently, pelicans choose flat soil to nest, and dig into it, just like how arenas are made (in a kindergartner mindset sort of way)!

28. Bankers Life Fieldhouse. Indiana Pacers.
When you think of Indiana do you think of banks? No, you think of fields, industries, Indy car, and basketball. Bankers Life was actually established in Chicago. Yeah its Midwest, but really, a division rival? There are so many other options. The naming rights go through 2019, but when its up, who knows?
Suggested name: The Fieldhouse.  Or the Track. But I like the Fieldhouse. Announcers would really emphasize THE Fieldhouse. 

27. Talking Stick Resort Arena. Phoenix Suns.
When the name of the arena is three words before you even get to the arena part, its probably too long. The Scottsdale resort starts their partnership this year, and I like the locality of it, but the name doesn't really roll off the tongue.  
Former names: America West Arena and US Airways Center (US Airways bought out America West but kept their 30 year deal in place, which didn't make it all 30 years). 
Suggested name: House of the Rising Suns. OK, I just complained about long names, and this is a direct contradiction, but albeit cheesy, this is great. I don't need to argue for it, the Animals can do that for me (don't argue that this song mentions New Orleans, many times. But as long as the Jazz are in Utah, this slight New Orleans idea theft wouldn't matter)

26. Pepsi Center. Denver Nuggets.
When you think Denver do you think Pepsi? For that matter, name any place that makes you think of Pepsi? Just seems a little generic. Pepsi paid $68 million for the rights, so money destroys creativity again! Just kidding, almost every arena has a similar exorbitant deal. Soda brands as an arena name doesn't work that well in general, although it could (see Atlanta). 
Suggested Name: The McDonalds Center. My first sponsorship idea. When people think of Nuggets, they think McDonalds much more than snow capped mountains. I think it would be great.

T/24. American Airlines Arena and American Airlines Center. Miami Heat and Dallas Mavericks.
This could be lower due to the glaring repetition. They are tied because there is not much of a difference between an Arena and a Center.  It actually makes some sense, because Miami  and Dallas are hubs for AA. But if hubs were the only argument, here are the following teams that would be AA affiliates:
  • American Airlines Fieldhouse, Charlotte.
  • Palace of American Airlines, Philadelphia.
  • The American Airlines Garden, New York.
  • American Airlines Forum, Los Angeles.
  • American Airlines Building, Chicago.
  • American Airlines Large Structure with Teams in it, Phoenix
The NBA would become the American Airlines NBA. 
Suggested names: Miami: The Port. Dallas: Cuban's Cube (which Mark Cuban would somehow design to be cube shaped.


23. Amway Center. Orlando Magic.
This is just kind of bland. Amway is based in Michigan, so I don't really understand this one. Your team name is the magic, that opens the (trap) door to a lot of naming possibilities. Oh well. 
Suggested names: The Wand, Hogwarts, or Shaq Train Arena. 

22. BMO Harris Bradley Center. Milwaukee Bucks.
The Bradley Center was originally named in memory of Harry Lynde Bradley, father of Jane and Lloyd Pettit, who gifted the arena to the state of Wisconsin. That's a great reason to name an arena, but then the Chicago based BMO Harris swooped in 2012 to get naming rights. Chicago is always messing with Milwaukee. The name doesn't have the same feel to it as the Bradley Center did. Who knows what the proposed new arena would be called.
Previous name: Bradley Center. Suggested name: Oscar Robertson Arena. They could call it the Big O.

21. EnergySolutions Arena. Utah Jazz.
It's one word, which is kind of weird. Props for geographic relevance, as their headquarters are in Salt Lake City. I am one of many who complain that the team name is the Jazz. Jazz in Utah? They really should have changed it the second they moved it, but legalities would have made that tough.
Previous name: Delta Center. Suggested name: Bayou Arena. Why not take more ideas from New Orleans?

20. Sleep Train Arena. Sacramento Kings.
Sleep King is a mattress company, and is a child of Mattress Firm(does the parent organization idea work inversely?). Sleep is not a good name for an arena. Though train is usually associated with fast paced and high energy. So this name contradicts itself. The only reason this isn't number 28 or so is that you could call it the Train, which has potential to be nostalgic, if that makes any sense. Sac town fans are just happy their team stayed, I doubt they care all that much about the name.
Previous names: Arco Arena and Power Balance Pavilion. Suggested name: The Kings Court or the Castle.

19. Time Warner Cable Arena. Charlotte Hornets. 
What nickname can you give to this? The Time? The Cable? Time Warner has corporate offices in Charlotte, so it makes sense in that regard. Since naming rights keep going up in price, I doubt we will see companies buying the rights and naming it anything but their corporate name. 
Previous name: Charlotte Bobcats Arena. Suggested name: the Air Jordan Center. It pretty much already is.

Second Tier

18. Toyota Center. Houston Rockets.
Ever since Yao Ming graced a Rockets jersey, the team has had quite the following in China. Toyota is a Japanese car. Maybe the strong East Asian following was one of the reasons? Toyota, like most of these, was probably just the highest bidder. It's not a terrible name for an arena as far as corporate names go.
Suggested names: The Launch Pad (I do realize most of these ideas sound more like nicknames, but I don't care), or NASA Arena.

17. AT&T Center. San Antonio Spurs.
This kind of makes sense, as AT&T's headquarters are in Dallas, which is why this also doesn't make sense. Why doesn't Dallas take this name and San Antonio could be free to pick whatever they want. The Cowboys stadium is also AT&T so if you think of Texas broadly it works. But if you think of the more specific cities and the rivalries of the teams, it makes less sense.
Suggested names: HEB Arena, The Boot, Whataburger Forum, or River Walk Arena.

16. Verizon Center. Washington Wizards.
Leaving the Texas theme, but continuing the phone company theme here. Verizon and DC don't have many ties, but money rules the day when it comes to these things. The Wizards have not had much playoff success this century, so unfortunately, no one can, as Verizon says, hear them now. I have heard people refer to the arena as the Phone Booth, which works with most of my suggestions. Shouldn't a team in the nations capital have a some what more appropriate name?
Previous name: MCI Center. 
Suggested names: American Apparel Arena (Too soon?), American Eagle Arena, JFK Arena, Washington Forum, or Beltway Center.

15. Philips Arena. Atlanta Hawks.
Another name without any big connection to the city. The Hawks have been dealing with some tumultuous ownership changes and struggling with attendance. Maybe a name change could fix that? I'm not saying the name is the reason for either of those issues, but for the sake of argument, what would be a better name? There are a few companies from Atlanta that would be obvious. 
Name Suggestions: Coca Cola Center, Chic-fil-a Center, or beat the Pelicans to it and call it the Nest.

14. Wells Fargo Center. Philadelphia 76ers.
Let's see if Philly GM Sam Hinkie trades the naming rights of the arena to the Warriors for some second round picks. Wells Fargo's headquarters are in San Francisco, so giving it to the bay area could work. 
Previous names: CoreStates Center, First Union Center, and Wachovia Center.
Suggested names: Liberty Bell Garden, Rocky Center, First Capital Arena (not company, but the historical reference), Founding Fathers Forum, Declaration Center, or anything patriotic. 

13. Chesapeake Energy Arena. Oklahoma City Thunder.
A pretty long name, which is why many announcers will refer to it as the Peak. Yes this company is based in OKC. It doesn't really flow off the tongue but it has a nice enough nickname to get this high on list.
Former names: Ford Center and Oklahoma City Arena
Suggested name: The Cloud Center.

12. TD Garden. Boston Celtics.
This was undoubtedly throwing back to the Boston Garden, which housed the glory years of the Celtics. But if you are going to throwback, do it all the way. Much like the BMO Harris Bradley Center, Boston Garden has more local currency than the bank sponsor. It would be a cool name for a football stadium though.
Previous names: Shawmut Center, Fleet Center, and some other names. 
Suggested names: go back to Boston Garden, Celtic Pride Arena, Bird Forum, Bill Russel Arena.

11. Target Center. Minnesota Timberwolves.
Go to Minnesota, everything is Target. The Twins stadium is Target Field, and Target logos seem to be just as common as Vikings logos. Fun Fact: Target has as many Super Bowl wins as the Vikings. Anyways, I like the consistency on this one, but this top ten is pretty tight.
Name suggestions: KG Arena. Why not?

First Tier

10. Barclays Center. Brooklyn Nets.
For some reason, this really works for me. They needed some big time, international company to take the rights to the fancy new spectacle of an arena. Barclays paid $400 million for a 20 year deal! Not long ago, you could buy a team for that much. It feels disrespectful to suggest any other name after that much was spent on the name.
Name suggestions: Rolex Center, Bridges Arena, or Roc-Nation Palace.


9. FedExForum. Memphis Grizzlies.
For the top ten I am going to stop talking about the corporate relationship with the city, though it does still carry weight. This one makes top ten because the Grizzlies are the only team who have kept calling their building Forum. I love that. FedEx works because the Grizzlies were shipped from Vancouver.
Name suggestions: The Bear Pit, Rock and Roll Arena, or the BBQ Center.

8. Oracle Arena. Golden State Warriors.
Name-wise this makes perfect sense. Any team near Silicon Valley should have a technical sponsor, and they do. Reputation also helps this arena, as the Warriors have some of the most passionate and loud fans in the league.
Previous names: The Oakland/Alameda County Colosseum Arena (you can see why they changed that long name, but fun fact: Oracle shares a lot with the A's/Raiders stadium), New Arena in Oakland, and Oakland Arena.
suggested name: Apple Arena (surprised this hasn't happened somewhere by now).

7. Quicken Loans Arena. Cleveland Cavaliers.
Major points for the easy nickname of the Q. This arena is also associated with pre-decision Lebron Cavs teams. They have had very good attendance over the years.
Former name: Gund Arena.
Name suggestion: the Lebron Center. Could you imagine naming a court after a player that is still playing for the team? That would be awesome.

6. United Center. Chicago Bulls.
Nostalgia can get you this far. The name hasn't changed since it was built in 1994. Obviously that was right before Jordan came back from baseball and led the Bulls to multiple titles again. This consistency makes United synonymous with the Bulls but also the very successful Blackhawks. 
Name suggestions: Michael Jordan Arena. I could actually see this. Although he may get mad anytime someone uses the name without his permission. (side tangent: I get that he wants to protect his name, but more leniency would be nice)


5. Moda Center. Portland Trail Blazers.
I could put this one at 29th or top ten. There is a lot of wiggle room. I decided to put them top 15 but the more I thought about it,and the more the irony sunk in, the higher they rose. They lose a lot of points because the Rose Garden was a perfect name for a Portland arena. They get major points due to sad irony, Moda is an Oregon based health insurance provider. If any franchise should be represented by a health insurance agency, its Portland (see Walton, Bowie, and Oden).
Previous name: Rose Quarter. Suggested name: The only more ironic name that a health insurance company would be Draft Kings Arena (see Bowie, Oden). 

4. Staples Center. Los Angeles Lakers and Los Angeles Clippers.
Sadly for Clippers fans, the arena is more associated with the Lakers and maybe even the Kings (NHL). The Clippers have been trying recently to cover up Lakers banners during Clippers games. The name is pretty iconic, as success does a lot of good for arena names.
Name suggestion: Universal (Studios) Arena. That would be cool.

3. Air Canada Center. Toronto Raptors.
What better way to represent the entire country of Canada? The name Air Canada also triggers basketball (such as Air Jordan) more than the actual airline. This name works well. 
Suggested name: Jurassic Park Arena or the 6.

2. The Palace of Auburn Hills. Detroit Pistons.
I have always loved this one. Many Pistons fans were mad when the Pistons left Detroit for the suburbs, which is understandable. Even if the move wasn't right, the name certainly was. This arena opened right as the Bad Boys were having their run. It sounds so fancy that it works perfectly! 
Suggested name: the General Motors center.

1. Madison Square Garden. New York Knicks.
The Garden is unbeatable. There is so much history with the Garden, which opened in 1968. It is a spectacle, and encapsulates Knick basketball perfectly. No arena can compare with the vibes of the Garden. And the Garden stands alone.
Names suggestions: Really?






Monday, October 5, 2015

5 NBA Expansion Cities

        The NHL is considering adding two expansion teams in Quebec City and Las Vegas. Hockey in Quebec City makes perfect sense right? However, hockey is much bigger in Canada than it is in the Sin City. I question what kind of fan base a Las Vegas team would have. I’m not saying it wouldn’t work, but hockey in the Southwest can be tricky, just look at Phoenix. While there could be worse places to put a hockey team (anywhere in Florida), this got me thinking about the NBA. The NBA has no plans to expand anytime soon. If anything, there is talk of a team eventually re-locating to Seattle, which desperately wants a team to get over the nasty Supersonics divorce. If the NBA were to expand, which cities would be best?

Before I start I’ll quickly cover which cities would probably not work out (reasoning in parenthesis):
Winnipeg (hockey), Vancouver (tried it), Columbus (another Ohio team?), Cincinnati (another Ohio team?), Dayton(you get the point), Provo (two Utah teams would be funny though), Queens (see Nets), and Omaha (college baseball and steak).

Now the top five cities that could house an NBA team (honorable mentions: Louisville, Austin or El Paso, Nashville, Albuquerque, St Louis, Richmond) :


5. Honolulu, Hawaii: 


Take a deep breath and let it sink in.  Logistically yes, this would be a pain, but it would be less of a pain than having a team in say, London.  The biggest concern would be similar to Vegas, as Honolulu has a tourist driven economy, and tourists aren’t a reliable fan base.  Yes there are obviously people who live there, but the tourist vibe could be a negative. The positives: 
  • beautiful location 
  • expanding the NBA market to Hawaii and possibly getting interest in Alaska 
  • getting a more global reach in the Pacific islands
  • isn’t it about time Hawaii or Alaska gets a pro team? 
This is more of a pipe dream, but I just wanted to see how this looks on paper (web paper!). Team name ideas: Hawaii Warriors (yeah like the university), Hawaii 5-0’s, Hawaii Volcanoes, Hawaii Ash, or Hawaii Magma. I really don’t think Honolulu works as well for a team name as Hawaii. This team would obviously represent the whole state. Population: 374,658 (2009).

4. San Diego, California: 


 This beautiful city did have the Clippers from '78-'84. Their first year in San Diego was their only winning season at 43-39. You could see why support wasn’t pouring in, as the more established Chargers made the playoffs four times in that stretch. I really think a team would get more support now. Yeah, there are already four other California teams, but what’s one more? This would also create some potentially great rivalries, especially against the Clippers, who left years ago.  It’s not like the market isn’t big enough to support it. With the Chargers having one foot out the door, San Diegans need something to help them cope.  The market is huge, the city is great, and I think they could definitely support a team.  Team names: San Diego Wave, San Diego Compadres, San Diego Midshipmen, San Diego anchors, San Diego Sailors, San Diego Mastheads, San Diego any seafaring name. Population: 1.356 million (2013).

3. Kansas City, Missouri:


Kansas (don't pull the: Kansas City is in Missouri card, you know what I mean) has always been a hotbed of college basketball; why not add a pro team? Kansas City is a great city with a lot of history and culture. The fan following would most likely be as passionate as Thunder fans are. The team would get support from Kansas, Nebraska, Iowa, and maybe even St Louis. That’s a lot of potential fans. They have had exhibitions is years past which draw good crowds, and they have the Sprint Center which is without a pro team. I would love to see a team here. Team names: Kansas City Hogs, Kansas City Jazz (change Utah’s name already!), Kansas City Rhythm, Kansas City JayCats (a stretch but could rep both main colleges), Kansas City Spirit, or Kansas City Plainsmen. Population: 467,007 (2013).

2. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania:

I never understood why Pittsburgh doesn’t have all four major sports. There’s a really interesting dynamic in the Steel City, as fans of basketball don’t want to root for a team from Philly or Cleveland, so they are kind of left without any logical option. I really think this would work. They have had a few teams before, the Ironmen and the ABA’s Condors, which didn’t work out. I found an interesting article on why it wouldn’t work. The reasons are mostly money and market. I would argue the market is big enough to support four sports, when you consider all of the suburbs. Of course if they got a team, the colors would have to be black and yellow. Names: Pittsburgh Ironmen (maybe some copy write problems with Disney), Pittsburgh Bridges, Pittsburgh Rivers, Pittsburgh Knights (third Bale Batman was filmed there, and it works in general), or Pittsburgh Pandas (you know, to keep the PP thing going with the Pirates and Penguins, and the non-indigenous animal thing going). Population: 305,841 (2013)


1. Seattle, Washington


Yes this answer is a cop out and is really boring and is the most likely to happen. There just really is not a better number one. Seattle fans, like them or not, are some of the most loyal and passionate fans out there. We all know about the 12th man, but the Mariners have had fairly good support through some losing seasons, and the Sounders have great support. This city loved the Supersonics, and the team was practically stolen from them. There isn’t even a need to list possible names as they would undoubtedly go back to being the Sonics. Not really much to discuss here. Population: 652, 405.
 Most NBA fans want to see them get a team; they just don’t want it to be their team that moves there.